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Hey. I am a 29 yr old female who for a slew of reasons happens to be completely inexperienced in matters of love/sex. I only just started dating a month ago and while it's going well, I feel overwhelmed by a sense of inadequacy. Like even if something does pan out what could I possibly have to contribute to the relationship? Am I just chasing a pipe dream? Is it too late for me to start looking for love/ sex? Or do I just need to calm the fuck down?

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There are approximately 290,000 active commercial airline pilots in the world. Every day, they wake up to whiney kids, sick dogs, aging parents, annoying coworkers, and shitty commutes. Of course they also wake up to great runs, pretty sunrises, home-cooked meals, exotic locations, and trips home. Because they’re people. Normal people, in the grind of life, going to work and going home. And at work, they get to their gate, tick all the boxes, say their polite hellos to their passengers, and move a giant metal fuselage full of strangers 30,000 feet into the air going 500 mph across unexplored oceans of unsurvivable depth.

If someone made you pilot a commercial flight tomorrow, you would have reason to feel overwhelmed by a sense of inadequacy because you would literally be inadequate. You would have nothing to contribute to flying because you would have no idea how to fly a plane.

But you do have something to contribute to a relationship, because you do, in fact, know how to be in them. You, despite your not knowing it, have plenty of training. Right now, you’re in a small but very real relationship with me. You’ve come to me with curiosity, vulnerability, and even a dash of humor. I see that vulnerability and am coming back to you with what I hope is kindness and realism. But I don’t know for sure. I can’t know how you’ll receive this message, how you’ll relate to what I’m saying, or what you’ll think of me after. And that, really, is being in a relationship. Putting yourself out there, trying to be your best self, trying to help people, trying to know someone, and knowing that, sometimes despite all of this, sometimes the relationship you’re trying to forge will fail. That is true when we’re 6 on the playground on the monkey bars, it’s true when we’re 16 negotiating curfews and grades, it’s true when we’re 29 interviewing and flirting, it’s true when we’re 43 reassessing our marriages, it’s true forever.

I get that everyone else feels like an airline pilot, navigating skies out of your reach with flexibility and wisdom. But you don’t have to fly a plane to date. You answer a message. You make a joke. You send a text. You get ignored. You turn someone down. You ask someone out. And at whatever speed you’re comfortable with, you remove whatever literal and figurative layers you’re comfortable with.

You are allowed to feel overwhelmed. Everyone feels overwhelmed when approaching something they literally have no idea how to do. That’s OK. But that’s why we learn. That’s why we take our time but also take chances. That’s why flight school exists. That’s why dating blogs and books and movies and websites and everything else exists. So you can learn to date. Because the truth is, even people who’ve been holding hands on the playground since they were 9 can feel overwhelmed by the world of love. We’ve only written an infinite amount of story around the subject. You could say almost every single human is undone, overcome, and indeed overwhelmed by love and all its facets. And that’s OK. But inadequate? A pipe dream? Too late?

No. Too late is when you’re dead. Show yourself a little forgiveness. Because what you’ve shown me isn’t inadequacy, it’s hope. And really, that’s all you need.

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norb
28 days ago
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Very sweet response
clmbs.oh
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Palantir Knows Everything About You

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Trump White House Justin Mikolay EMPLOYEE OF EMPLOYEE OF Kevin Harrington EMPLOYEE OF Thiel Capital FORMER OPERATOR OF Alexander Karp FORMER OPERATOR OF FORMER OPERATOR OF FORMER OPERATOR OF Trump transition team STUDENT OF Michael Kratsios OPERATOR OF Thiel Macro Jürgen Habermas OPERATOR OF Porsche SUV COLLEAGUE OF OPERATOR OF

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norb
31 days ago
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clmbs.oh
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A Fly Doing His Thing

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A Fly Doing His Thing

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norb
42 days ago
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clmbs.oh
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The demise of the nation state

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W hat is happening to national politics? Every day in the US, events further exceed the imaginations of absurdist novelists and comedians; politics in the UK still shows few signs of recovery after the “ national nervous breakdown ” of Brexit. France “ narrowly escaped a heart attack ” in

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norb
43 days ago
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clmbs.oh
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tora42: editorincreeps: missvoltairine: phil-irish-artist: By...

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tora42:

editorincreeps:

missvoltairine:

phil-irish-artist:

By copyrighting his property as an artwork, he has prevented oil companies from drilling on it.

Peter Von Tiesenhausen has developed artworks all over his property in northern Alberta.  There’s a boat woven from sticks that is gradually being reclaimed by the land; there is a fence that he adds to each year of his life, and there are many “watching” trees, with eyes scored into their bark.

Oil interests pester him continually about drilling on his land.  His repeated rebuffing of their advances lead them to move toward arbitration.  They made it very clear that he only owned the top 6 inches of soil, and they had rights to anything underneath.  He then, off the top of his head, threatened them that he would sue damages if they disturbed his 6 inches, for the entire property is an artwork.  Any disturbance would compromise the work, and he would sue.

Immediately after that meeting, he called a lawyer (who is also an art collector) and asked if his intuitive threat would actually hold legally.  The lawyer visited, saw the scope of the work on the property, and wrote a document protecting the artwork.

The oil companies have kept their distance ever since.

This is but one example of Peter’s ability to negotiate quickly on his feet, and to find solutions that defy expectations.

I feel like this is really important. 

“You only own the top six inches.” I own every inch from dust to Hell’s breath. Fight me.

holy crap it’s true 

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norb
43 days ago
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Genius!
clmbs.oh
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It's Time For an RSS Revival

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The modern web contains no shortage of horrors, from ubiquitous ad trackers to all-consuming platforms to YouTube comments, generally. Unfortunately, there's no panacea for what ails this internet we've built. But anyone weary of black-box algorithms controlling what you see online at least has a respite, one that's been there

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norb
53 days ago
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Hey, we're already here!
clmbs.oh
minderella
52 days ago
Welcome to the future, you trend-setter. :-)
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